Rejection #34

Yes, it's true. After 4 months I received a rejection from an agent for UCOD. And quite honestly, I could care less. The book's not done anyway. I've got a buttload of revisions to do. And the manner of the rejection made me wonder why I'd want to do business with these people in the first place. I sent a SASE envelope and a slip of paper for them to send me when it was received at the office. (For some strange reason I've never done the postcard thing.) They mailed my rejection back in that. What about my partial???? I did not say they could recycle the manuscript pages. I sent a bigger envelope for returning that too. THEN, on the actual letter, it says "Dear Author" with my name written above author and nobody bothered to sign it. Hey, they could've had someone from the cleaning crew sign it with the agent's name. How would I know the difference? But they could've at least had someone, anyone sign it.

The good news? In my quest to write at least one line a day, yesterday I actually wrote 13 lines! A few of them were even worth keeping. I also started going through UCOD again and accepted the fact that I have some heavy duty revisions to do. But, I decided to take it one chapter at a time. During this plotting and planning, I ended up writing to a few people about my dilemma concerning single title vs category. Those who responded said basically the same thing: write the book the way it needs to be written, the way I need it to be written.

I'd thought that Bombshell was exactly where I wanted to be. I realize now, it isn't. I love Bombshell books and can't imagine a month without them, but I'm not a Bombshell writer. As much as I want to be, I can't be. Last year, I thought I wrote heroine driven stories with little romance. After soul searching and struggling to find my place, I realize that I like a little more romance than the Bombshells I've read include. I have plots that span over 3 and 4 books with the characters wandering through revolving doors. I want darker characters and grittier suspense scenes. In short, I want to go back to single title.

When REBEL HART won the Wisconsin Fab Five contest in 2003, it was a single title story. When the editor requested the full, it became a category. Because that editor kept encouraging me, I kept writing categories. The bottom line, they sucked. You know it's bad when you can't even remember the title or what the heroines of those in between books look like. I've been desperate to keep in contact with that editor because she has been such a help, but that connection won't mean a thing if I'm not writing the books the way they need to be told. As a good friend pointed out, I haven't had a spark of enthusiasm for my characters and my writing since REBEL HART. Yes, I've loved the heroes and some of the scenes of those in between books, but the magic has been missing.

When I got home from work today, my plan was to watch two movies with the actor that inspired my REBEL HART and UCOD heroes and then work on the book all weekend. For the first time last night, I got really excited about my story. I'm brainstorming specifics and I'm prepared to cut scenes that I absolutely love if they dont fit the story. After I finished dinner and started hunting for the movies, I actually stopped myself. I wanted to get right to work. I WANTED to get back to my manuscript. That feeling has been missing for so long, I almost cried when it returned. So, now I'm off to wave the wand and see what magical feats I can accomplish tonight.