Okay, here are the details from my resignation. I did offer to work part-time at my school doing the ESL Coordinator job, one of the 2 jobs I do right now, so the school stays in compliance with the state's guidelines. The boss actually asked, "Why not full time ESL?" I said I'd be interested in talking about that some more. He said he'd think about it and get back with me after break. He may offer full-time ESL and I may not take it, he may offer just part-time. He might come back with, "Thanks, but no thanks." I might just walk away altogether. No matter what happens now, I'm at peace with my decision to not be a "regular" teacher anymore.
It wasn't an easy decision. It wasn't an easy discussion. But things had to change. I spent every work day in December depressed and in tears because I was so unhappy. At that point, I started evaluating my life. There isn't one reason I gave notice. I don't agree with some of the practices going on in the school, I don't feel I have the support from my administration that is necessary for us to do a great job, I'm feeling burned out after 9 years in front of a class, I have NO time for writing and I have nowhere to move on the career ladder. In evaluating my life, I realized that working with and for English Language Learners is where I want my career to go. And of course, I want to continue pursuing publication. If I stay where I am, I can't fulfill either of those dreams. So in December I decided to look for another job. I put my writing on hold so that I can focus on finding a new job. I need something that satisfies my heart and my soul. And you know what? Finally saying the words to the boss have pulled a HUGE weight off my heart. It feels good.