Monday, February 27, 2006

Life is Still Good, But...

Conferences are over. I've got Spelling lists for the rest of the school year. I've graded every single piece of paper I could find and I even managed to toss myself into this century by creating a spreadsheet with my grades. Yay! I don't have to rely on my math skills anymore! Epson's sending me a new printer. My contest entries are on their way, I still have some cash and tomorrow is payday. So what could be wrong, you ask?

I'm at another crossroads. Yes, ANOTHER one. (Somehow they seem to be coming more frequently as I get older!) All this work for an ESL job is wearing me out. My heart isn't in it full-time. I'll still apply for jobs when I see them (always be looking, I'm told), but I feel like I should be tossing myself into the mix of writing related activities. Ultimately I want to be published. This is not a new concept for me or any other unpub. But, I think about actors and musicians who work tirelessly at their craft, who work a regular job and then do auditions or acting lessons or practice sessions or gigs. Yes, they have something to pay the rent and keep food on the table, but they never lose sight of their ultimate goal. I'm feeling that the ESL thing, although it is important to me, was an outlet to pursue after my last rejection. It was something I liked at a time when I really needed something to really like. But where am I? Writing again, revising my strategy toward publishing and jumping back into the publishing circus with both feet without checking to see how deep the pool is. I'm feeling that I should stick to teaching middle school English and still put everything else I have into my writing. I don't want to give up. I don't want to do things that take away from my writing time. Does that make sense? Any thoughts? Advice? Suggestions?

In the meantime, I'm off to usual.


Elisabeth Naughton said...

Go with your heart. You'll never regret it. But if you don't listen to it, trust me, someday you will regret that.

TJBrown said...

Crossroads are good. They make you rethink your choices. Get you back on track again. That's always good.