I think I'm facing my own Big Black Moment in my Prepub career. This current manuscript, FP, is my make or break manuscript. I say that because I started it to work on a weakness, to exercise my writing brain to create believable characters and character motivations. I know my writing ability is solid-another agent has said so (more on that later), so if I can make it through this manuscript to where I'm happy with it and the characters shine and their motivations ring true, then I'm heading in the right direction. The question is, am I ready to face the truth, to tackle my own weaknesses and start turning them into strengths of their own?
Damn straight I am.
Got another rejection today on UCOD. The agent said my writing was solid and the premise was interesting but the characterization is problematic. She also reminded me this is her opinion and others might not agree. (Yeah, they do, but that's okay.) Then, she said, "Please keep me in mind with future projects." This was the first time an agent has said that to me and it makes me feel so much closer to my own "Call".
I believe my "call" will come because I'm at my own critical point in my writing. At this point, I know I've got talent, I know I can pull a story together and I can even make it interesting enough for people to want to keep reading. The challenge is do I quit now and accept that I won't make it? Or do I answer the call to adventure and overcome my biggest writing challenge? Facing my weaknesses makes me want to poke myself in the eye while pulling out my hair one strand at a time. I often feel stupid and frustrated. So, do I have what it takes to do what must be done?
I am a warrior. I choose to fight and I will come out on top. Or at least over this hurdle and onto the next. Writing is part of me. It's in my blood and I refuse to run.